I'm down to the last few pages of my thick black journal. It's been a very productive, restful and enlightening month here at Anam Cara Writer's and Artist's Retreat. I feel good about the amount writing I've accomplished on my book of stories in addition to the travel and landscape photography. I feel like I belong here in this remote region of southwestern Ireland. Funny how I don't really miss the states - just my family, friends and of course Andei and Adam. In a few days I'll be traveling to the Dingle Peninsula for a three day writer's workshop and then off to the border of Northern Ireland to spend three weeks in seclusion to continue working on the book in a farmhouse surrounded by 300 acres of forest.
I'll miss waking up before the others, sneaking quietly into the kitchen to brew coffee in the French Press and write for an hour in my journal. My journal is the point of departure for all my creative endeavors - the raw material for my stories, articles and photographic ideas. A place to brainstorm, write rough drafts and work through personal issues. The only sound is the clock ticking to the steady rhythm of my fine tipped black pen scribbling across the page. Every few minutes I look up and gaze at the haze covered mountains as the sun slowly climbs up and over the craggy green hills emanating yellow and orange light into the morning sky, creating a hard edge of rim light around the clouds. Yes! I will miss this place and hopefully, someday return.
The Irish landscape...the rocks, fields and streams exude a timeless quality. It's a peaceful, healing spirit which interconnects with yours if you open your heart and mind to it. The other writer's and artist's I met in the past month have been very empathetic and helpful to me - not only with the writing but by reaching out as fellow artists on the same creative journey. Anam Cara, the Irish landscape and the people I have me all have contributed to my growth as a writer, artist and person.
With each passing day in Ireland it gets easier to put my worries aside and just savor each and every magical moment. The rolling green pastures, the brightly painted country towns and the friendly, so very amiable Irish people who make it a point to wave and smile at you in such a sincere way.
It's as if the feelings, and experiences of my childhood are re-lived here. No fear, no worries, no anxiety just the gentle wind, expansive green landscape, ocean, and the spiritual quality of the light which brings the trees, ancient stones, glades and meadows alive. I could spend endless days in these valleys and meadows just writing, reading, photographing and sketching - when I get tired just curl up under a gnarled tree and sleep, reminisce and dream. You become so hypersensitive to everything once you connect with the land even if you are a stranger in Ireland. The flight of a Magpie, rustle of the leaves from the afternoon breeze, fish jumping in the lake creating ripples across the water and always the subtle, delicate light dancing across blades of grass and the trunks of ancient trees.
Artists and writers must strive to make these connections in order to take our work to the next level which is a seamless interconnection between subject and the heart of soul of the artist. Art and writing must be an honest - authentic extension of ourselves for it to truly connect and have impact on a viewer. Unfortunately, these moments are few and far between when the artist, subject, timing, light and visual elements all come together naturally - almost magically to cut through the superficial and capture the essence of the artists inner soul.
The vastness of the landscape is having a big impact on me. As I hike or bike around the Beara Peninsula I feel the awesome power of the land. It's like nothing I have experienced before in my life. You may get a glimpse of this feeling staring out at the ocean but this feeling about the Irish landscape has another timeless, ancient, mysterious quality. It's as if you can sense the people, cultures, and civilizations that came before. There is a real human quality emanating from the rocks, fields, meadows and streams. The land almost speaks to you on some deep subconscious level. Every time I go riding out to photograph I can feel it and try desperately to capture it BUT it is ethereal, illusive. The ancient "standing stones" are a good example of this. The land and these gentle, good natured people are a healing force for me. Time is different in rural Ireland. It is slower and what I once thought of as important seems so meaningless and insignificant. Time is dictated by nature - it controls the pace and not the other way around like in America.
I've been here a month now. It is as if I have dug through layers of memories bringing me healing and a deeper awareness. At first it was just superficial rest and relaxation. On the surface I felt calm and relaxed, yet after days of peace and solitude in a very affirming, safe environment I have been able to travel deeper into the past and my memories of childhood and its real affect on my present life. I have come to write but in reality I have come here to initiate some changes - real changes in my life and attitudes towards the world in which I find myself living. The people at this retreat have also played a role in my personal transformation - it's as if God places the right combination of people together for a reason - to support and affirm one another as they (we) move forward in the creative and spiritual journey.
I am blessed to be here in Ireland. Yes...I miss my children but I believe I did the best thing coming here to write and re-evaluate my life.